Thanks so much for the kind comments and the emails. I am more upset at my reaction to the situation, than the situation itself. I had a nice humbling quiet time earlier today and I know that I'm just going to take things one day at a time - or else I run the risk of sliding down that slippery slope of being overly dramatic. However, I reserve the right to pass out sparkly invites to pity parties every few weeks or so when reality creeps up and rares it's ugly head, reminding me that I have the potential to have a really full plate if I'm not very careful.
I struggle all the time with my faith and my times of lack of faith. Around this time last year, the pastor at the church I was attending gave a fantastic sermon about the passover. It moved me to tears. Basically the bottom line was that it was up to the parents to be strong in their faith when it came time to decide if they were really going to put the lambs blood on their doorways to be "passed over" - it was essentially a very visual life or death situation based purely on faith and believing. I thought of that service today and I could hear Pastor Mark's voice in my head and I remember how emotional I felt that day - just pressured worrying if the decisions that I'm making every single day are the right decisions. It used to be so easy when I only had to worry about myself. Now I have a husband who is fighting his own demons, 3 children who are just old enough to begin to really misbehave and push buttons and now parents that need attending to.
On the way home from work today, "The Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns came on the radio. I've heard this song hundreds of times, and it moves me to tears each time. Faith - that's my prayer need lately, to just be still and have faith.