Sunday, June 21, 2009

Taking time to reflect

I haven't posted on our family blog or this blog for probably the longest hiatus since I've begun blogging. I just needed some time to really think about if I wanted to continue blogging. I get very afraid of the written word. Since this is only one dimension of communication, I worry that my words could be read in a way that gives them a different meaning than what I had intended.

I had taken a bit of a break to really think about what was going on in my life and to prioritize. As I've shared, my step-father is very seriously ill. He's doing great all things considered and is planning to come over to our house on next Sunday for his 65th birthday.

I'm also 6 months into my new full-time job and I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the large amount of responsibility. I can now admit that after the first 2 months into my position, I really enjoyed spending quite a bit of time with the upper management of this large healthcare institution. I started to think that was the direction that I should move in. I even met with a few college recruiters to consider an MBA, which is the next logical step for me for leadership in healthcare. However, it's such a big decision, I couldn't do it without lots and lots of prayer and reflection. I've had some really large nudging in the other direction, showing me that middle and upper management is not my calling. I enjoy my job, and I'm consistently told that I'm doing a good job, but I can't put my finger on what doesn't feel right - there's something there that I just know that this is just a stepping stone launching me to something completely different. So, after some serious consideration, I'm hoping to have my application to the Frontier School of Nursing complete by the end of July. I'm planning to obtain my Masters in Nursing with an emphasis as a Family Nurse Practitioner. I'm not linking to the school's website, but if you have time, check it out - the history behind it is fantastic and I'm really excited about the school. Nearly two years ago one of my best friends was trying to talk me into going to the school with her, I wasn't able to go because I had not finished my Bachelor's degree yet. She's now almost through and I am so excited for her.

Hubby and I have started going to our friends' house for Bible study on Friday nights. Last Friday night we took the motorcycle and it was a fun ride over there. It's a great group - the host family and our family are in our early thirties and three other couples are young dating college couples. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like the more turmoil my life is in, the closer I feel to God. And because He knows my every feeling right now, I'm finding it really hard to offer even the most benign "thank You for our food" type prayers without feeling teary. It's really hard to explain.

Anywho - this is what's happening with us and why I've been absent. I've decided to continue to blog because it's a great outlet. But I've also decided that my days of trying to keep a daily record of what the kids are doing - yeah, that's pretty much over. I need to spend more time living in my life, and less time typing about it. :)


Zach and Beth said...

It's so amazing how God works, huh? He always knows what is best for us and I'm so glad that you are trusting that nudge. I, for one, think you will be fabulous in your future field. You are such a great resource and always encourage people/patients to research all their options and to do what is best for them.

As far as praying simple things making you teary, I'm right there with ya sista. I tell ya, I'm so emotional during prayers lately, I just really feel like I'm feeling His presence more than ever before.

Sorry this is so long btw. And I'm really glad you are going to continue blogging.

Anonymous said...

I sometimes need to take breaks, too - they can be rejuvenating. I'm sorry to hear about your stepfather - I'll be praying for all of you. And I'm happy for your career path! It's those little experiences that really reset our priorities and interests.

I've never met you, but I honestly feel like I know you (in a non-creepy way!) I'm praying for you - for strength and clarity. You do a phenomenal job juggling all of the things in your life. :)

SoggyToad said...

I know what you mean about blogging breaks.... it's not my top priority either, yet it is a great outlet! I'm SO happy you'll continue because it helps me follow along despite the distance. :) Best wishes and prayers for the continued changes in your life.